"Don't Waste Your Suffering"

Last month, a good friend of mine shared with me a story about Pope St. John Paul II, which I will now share with you: 

There once was a priest who had a broken leg. After Mass, which he concelebrated with Pope St. John Paul, he got the chance to meet him. He said with some self-pity and humor that he had a broken leg and he asked for the Holy Father's blessing. Pope St. John Paul II said in reply, "Don't waste your suffering" before proceeding to bless him and then thump him on the head (quoted on redemptivesuffering.net from Jason Evert's Saint John Paul the Great: His Five Loves)! 

I'm bringing this story up today because I had a mini epiphany this morning when I was talking with another friend about suffering. We had agreed that looking back on what we've had to suffer in our short lives, we wouldn't change it for the world. That we were actually grateful for having suffered because of the unforetold blessings it brings into not just our own lives, but the lives of others now. And how God, by allowing us to suffer, has given us the compassion and mercy to help others suffer less who maybe are suffering in the same ways we did, or even still do. Because it really makes all the difference and alleviates suffering, just by knowing that there is someone out there, even if it is just one person, who knows exactly what you're going through (or at least a lot of what you're going through) because they have been through it, or are going through it, themselves. Nor do what we have had to suffer be "big" (not that we would want to have had to suffer a lot, but you know what I mean!) for us not to waste it. For even the smallest sufferings can be offered to God! An example of this from my own life is when I went out with a group from two different Bible studies. We all went to a family-owned ice cream shop, and were hanging out and enjoying one another's company ( and the ice cream, of course). I had been at a table talking with someone when I noticed another person that was in our group sitting alone at a table. The others in the group had formed a circle so that the person at the table was on the outside. When I saw that, I was immediately brought back to all those times that that has happened to me. I am a very quiet person, and often, because I'm quiet, I end up on the outside, or on the fringes of group activities and conversations. I know for a fact that this is NOT intentional at all on the part of the group, and I understand that when you're really quiet, it's easy for you to kind of fade into the background, what with everything going on! Knowing that this person who was sitting alone at the table was also a naturally quiet person, I decided right then and there that I was going to go talk to them and that they were not going to suffer as I have if I could help it. In fact, this poem by Emily Dickinson came to mind in that moment:

"If I can stop one heart from breaking, 

I shall not have lived in vain:

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again, 

I shall not have lived in vain."

My other conversation wrapped up, I threw away my ice-cream cup and went over and started talking with them. And we ended up talking the rest of the evening! I had a great time - we laughed quite a bit and just had a good conversation. And I hope that they did, too. When we were all leaving and as they were getting into their car, they seemed in good spirits and gave me a hearty wave. I know it wasn't the best conversation they ever had in their lives, but still I hope it helped them. I hope God used me and my sufferings to ease theirs. As my friend said today, maybe (my insertion here!) one day, if I make it to Heaven (again my insertion! My friend is too kind!!), I will be able to know for sure just what that meant to them, and the happiness it might have given them. That thought brought me true joy, and it enkindled my desire to not waste my suffering. Not even the seemingly small ones.