"And Great Was The Fall Thereof..."

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Hello friends! Sorry it's been a while since I last posted, but with school winding down, things have been pretty busy in my little corner of the world! Lots of things have transpired since I wrote my last post, and I'm not going to lie when I say that my spiritual life has been a struggle these past couple of weeks. Remember that prayer intention I always mention that I've been praying about for months? Well back in October, I was pretty sure that God was definitively telling me "No". Initially, when I thought this was His answer, the parable that first came to my mind (I did not know why at the time) was about the two houses - one built on rock, the other on sand. And the storm came, and the winds blew. And the house built on sand fell, "and great was the fall thereof" (Matthew 7:24-27). It wasn't until I was having coffee with a friend that I realized why: For months I have been idolizing my prayer intention. I have been going to God because of it, not just to go to Him for His own sake as I should have been. For months I have been building my relationship with Him on sand. And when I thought He said "no" about the intention, and that feeble relationship that I had been building completely crumbled, I realized I wasn't going to Him as often as I had been. At first this worried me and I couldn't figure out why, but after I realized all this I'm actually thankful that it happened. I didn't realize that this had even become an idol for me, but God did. He knew. And because He is our Savior and a "jealous" God (which I'm so thankful that He is <3) He destroyed it for me. And so just know that while this goes to show that we can make idols out of anything, even things we think are good, sometimes when God says "no", or when you think He's telling you "no", He might just be destroying that little idol that you created about it in your heart. And once that house built on sand has been destroyed, and you've learned your lesson, you can begin to build your house on rock - seeking God for His own sake, and not for any other.
Ad maiorem Dei gloriam.

P.S. I say that I thought God said "No" because after talking with a priest about all this, He told me that because the answer did not come to me during prayer, I cannot be 100% sure that it was God saying "No." And so, he recommended that I pray about it using Lectio Divina, which I have been loving so far!






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